the grateful sparrow

I had the most deeeeelicious ruben sandwich yesterday.  And, oh yeah, it was entirely VEGAN.

Wha???  I know!  You could'a fed it to any staunch meat lover and, blindfolded, they'd have no idea - yeah, it tasted that good.  If you're in the LA area, check out Flore in Silverlake - adorable and mouth-watering.  I'm trying to live a healthier lifestyle; I don't know that I am willing to go vegan, but the addition of more veggies & less meat into my diet is certainly a good idea.  And if I could make vegan food like that, well, maybe I could cut meat out entirely...

veg body!

I had this gastronomical delight with my friend C and the conversation rivaled the food in quality.  He's going through a quarterlife crisis of his own, "waking up" one day to the realization that the things that've mattered to him just don't matter.  We talked about taking breaks (and giving yourself a break), the industry of LA, our ideal lives, the illusion of success (is it really success if you're not happy?), and the value of fighting those pesky negative thoughts by slowly replacing them with their opposites.

We both are feeling this inexplicable pull to the Pacific Northwest.  I've been feeling it & I don't know why because I've never even been there, but I've been daydreaming about Seattle and Portland (and Denver, but that's a bit different).  When he said he wants to live in Portland & grow organic tomatoes, I said, allright, let's move.  We can be neighbors and share a garden with hammocks and own a theatre company.  Done and done.  :)

A year ago, I felt SO alone.  I felt like a failure, the only person alive that didn't know where she was headed or what she wanted.  I was ashamed and scared and miserable.  But slowly, I began talking about it.  I made myself get over my feelings of shame & share my crisis out loud - I even wrote and performed a monologue about it in a live show - and I've found that the more I talk about it, the more I find other people that have gone or are going through the same thing.

I'm glad that last night I could help C not feel alone.

Everyone goes through trying times of change & uncertainty; we humans are built to grow and adapt.  It hurts like hell, but recognizing that you don't know and that what you're doing isn't working, is the strongest, best choice you could ever make.  I think I'm on the downhill side of my crisis - I still may not know where I'm going, but I'm forging myself a new path with joy in my heart.

all images from weheartit.com

So cheers to treading paths that lead through thornbushes and tomato gardens to the next chapter of a fulfilling life!

Today I am so happy & grateful for:
~ healthy food that tastes great
~ fulfilling conversations
~ support

xo! n.