unmotivation.

It's cloudy & cool & grey outside, birdsong competing with lawnmowers and the threat of rain setting leaves trembling.  The perfect day for a big sweatshirt, soft blanket, and coffee that tastes like cake.

I'm lazy.

If this was an uncommon laziness, I'd say: I deserve it.  But it's not.  This laziness has been my constant companion for the last month.  I'm surprised the couch doesn't have a butt-print on it where I sit everyday, on my computer, watching TV.  And if I didn't really have anything to get done, being somewhat unemployed, I'd say: what's the harm?  But I do.  I have a lot to get done.  A lot of things to sell or give away or pack, a lot of research to do, a lot of planning.

 my life, lately. (from weheartit.com)

Yet here I sit, marinating in daydreams.  The daydreaming is like me, the stagnation is not.  I am usually motivated to get things done, especially when they're leading somewhere exciting.  But lately I feel a disconnect, as one day flows into the next and I wake up every morning without a plan.  It's apathy, but it's not unhappy.  I know what I have to get done, I just... don't care.

So I sit in my cocoon & smile into my coffee and imagine having a garden and a dishwasher and the millions of directions my future life can lead.

Of course, to get there, I do need to get off the couch... eventually.

Today I'm so grateful & happy for:
~ Malibu Canyon
~ flavored coffee creamer
~ beautiful pictures

xo! n.