Tuesday, September 29, 2009

pretend for real

sitting in the office, wallowing in the consistency of phones ringing, radios clashing, heels clicking and paper shuffling, i am suddenly struck with a very vivid memory:

i am six years old in the basement playroom of my friends house, in the back corner where her dad's workspace is. we've adorned our tiny fingers with too-big lee press-on nails in bright red and are playing office. i'm standing at the filing cabinet, reveling in the clack clack sound of my nails on files, the whoosh and creak of the drawers opening, and my friend's nails tic tic tic tic-ing on the computer keyboard. i feel a thrill of importance as i answer an imaginary phone call, becoming the modest office hero as i calmly appease a disgruntled client. we write nonsense orders on scratch paper and watch excitedly as they build a tower in our inbox. we are six years old, foreshadowing our future selves in action, but polar in emotion.

children live with joy and abandon; what is it in age that dulls that? can we get it back? maybe it's the burden of responsibilities - of bills to pay and a career to build. maybe it's the coma of routine. maybe it's that the learning curve has slowed; children are constantly experiencing things for the first time & as we age, new experiences become more seldom. we have to put in some extra effort to find new things & keep routines fresh.

today at the office, i'm going to try to love what's here. i'm enjoying the press of the keys under my fingertips and the nice clattery sound they make as i type this. the swoosh of my skirt around my knees kind of tickles, and the tap of my heels on tile makes me feel a little like i'm playing dress-up.

both images via we heart it

today, quiet down the groaning, stressed out adult & listen to your inner six year old. how can he or she guide you to appreciate what's in your life today, right now, just a little bit more?

today i am so happy & grateful for:
~ a new perspective
~ the smell of coffee
~ "playing" office

xo! n.

1 comment:

  1. I think maybe it has to do with autonomy. I loved playing secretary when I was a kid (what does it mean that we were secretaries and not bosses?) but when I was 22 and actually had a job as a secretary, it hardly lived up to my childhood make-believe. As a kid there is no boss, and you control both ends of the conversation on the telephone. No one is making ludicrous requests and there is no sense that you are over-educated and over-qualified to scribble nonsense orders on a note pad! The added reality of having to answer to someone tends to ruin the fantasy.

    That said, there have been those rare moments when I've been in a dreary office and had a sudden glimpse of that game. They're rare and lovely!


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