I had the most deeeeelicious ruben sandwich yesterday.  And, oh yeah, it was entirely VEGAN.

Wha???  I know!  You could'a fed it to any staunch meat lover and, blindfolded, they'd have no idea - yeah, it tasted that good.  If you're in the LA area, check out Flore in Silverlake - adorable and mouth-watering.  I'm trying to live a healthier lifestyle; I don't know that I am willing to go vegan, but the addition of more veggies & less meat into my diet is certainly a good idea.  And if I could make vegan food like that, well, maybe I could cut meat out entirely...

veg body!

I had this gastronomical delight with my friend C and the conversation rivaled the food in quality.  He's going through a quarterlife crisis of his own, "waking up" one day to the realization that the things that've mattered to him just don't matter.  We talked about taking breaks (and giving yourself a break), the industry of LA, our ideal lives, the illusion of success (is it really success if you're not happy?), and the value of fighting those pesky negative thoughts by slowly replacing them with their opposites.

We both are feeling this inexplicable pull to the Pacific Northwest.  I've been feeling it & I don't know why because I've never even been there, but I've been daydreaming about Seattle and Portland (and Denver, but that's a bit different).  When he said he wants to live in Portland & grow organic tomatoes, I said, allright, let's move.  We can be neighbors and share a garden with hammocks and own a theatre company.  Done and done.  :)

A year ago, I felt SO alone.  I felt like a failure, the only person alive that didn't know where she was headed or what she wanted.  I was ashamed and scared and miserable.  But slowly, I began talking about it.  I made myself get over my feelings of shame & share my crisis out loud - I even wrote and performed a monologue about it in a live show - and I've found that the more I talk about it, the more I find other people that have gone or are going through the same thing.

I'm glad that last night I could help C not feel alone.

Everyone goes through trying times of change & uncertainty; we humans are built to grow and adapt.  It hurts like hell, but recognizing that you don't know and that what you're doing isn't working, is the strongest, best choice you could ever make.  I think I'm on the downhill side of my crisis - I still may not know where I'm going, but I'm forging myself a new path with joy in my heart.

all images from weheartit.com

So cheers to treading paths that lead through thornbushes and tomato gardens to the next chapter of a fulfilling life!

Today I am so happy & grateful for:
~ healthy food that tastes great
~ fulfilling conversations
~ support

xo! n.

Life is Just SO Good

I am giggly and happy today.  No reason, I just am.  Joy keeps bubbling up into laughter and happy tears; I don't know why.  What am I laughing at?  Nothing at all, just everything.

I'm still lazy, I'm still easily distractible, head in a cloud of beautiful things.  It's fine by me.

To the soundtrack of Little Joy (how appropriate!), I dream of 

riding bikes,

yup, that's me!*

blooming gardens,

breezy summer dresses,

puppydogs,

cozy corners & good books

new places to explore,

and I just can't stop smiling at this hopeful love song:

 
 Yesterday I hung out with one of my favorite people, "my Sean" (and I'm "his little Nikki"); he was the first real friend I made in LA.  He's been my cheerleader, my therapist, and one of my few friends who believes in the power of things like gratitude, positivity, visualization, as much as I do.  He's a brilliant actor, a healer, and one of the most intuitive people I know.  Over curry and beer, we talked about our hopes and fears and next steps.  We spoke in the shorthand of our almost 6 year friendship; it's so nice to be with someone who just gets it, you know?  My Sean, I look forward to our little dream theatre company out on the rocky coast, and in the meantime, keep following your authentic self (no matter what).

Today I am so grateful & happy for:
~ sunny music
~ friendship like green spring roots
~ loveliness

What are you daydreaming about lately?

xo! n.
*all the other pictures are from weheartit.com

unmotivation.

It's cloudy & cool & grey outside, birdsong competing with lawnmowers and the threat of rain setting leaves trembling.  The perfect day for a big sweatshirt, soft blanket, and coffee that tastes like cake.

I'm lazy.

If this was an uncommon laziness, I'd say: I deserve it.  But it's not.  This laziness has been my constant companion for the last month.  I'm surprised the couch doesn't have a butt-print on it where I sit everyday, on my computer, watching TV.  And if I didn't really have anything to get done, being somewhat unemployed, I'd say: what's the harm?  But I do.  I have a lot to get done.  A lot of things to sell or give away or pack, a lot of research to do, a lot of planning.

 my life, lately. (from weheartit.com)

Yet here I sit, marinating in daydreams.  The daydreaming is like me, the stagnation is not.  I am usually motivated to get things done, especially when they're leading somewhere exciting.  But lately I feel a disconnect, as one day flows into the next and I wake up every morning without a plan.  It's apathy, but it's not unhappy.  I know what I have to get done, I just... don't care.

So I sit in my cocoon & smile into my coffee and imagine having a garden and a dishwasher and the millions of directions my future life can lead.

Of course, to get there, I do need to get off the couch... eventually.

Today I'm so grateful & happy for:
~ Malibu Canyon
~ flavored coffee creamer
~ beautiful pictures

xo! n.

Photo Recap: The Great Ocean Road - Grampians National Park to Adelaide

All pictures belong to me. Please keep your karma intact & don't steal.  Thanks.

xo! n.

Photo Recap: The Great Ocean Road - Melbs to Bay of Martyrs

All photos are mine, please play nice & don't steal.  Thanks!

xo! n.

Photo Recap: Melbourne

It's been a while since I posted Oz photos - I plum forgot!  Enjoy!

I do believe I have the most random photos anyone has ever taken of Melbs!   

All photos are mine, please don't steal.

xo! n.

Of Travel and Trees and Tip Jars.

Ugh.  I'm not really a pack rat, and pretty much everything I own is contained in my bedroom, but the idea of selling my furniture and packing up my car is just daunting. Ugh.

 Add to that the fact that I LOVE my bed & dresser.  I know they're just things but the bed was the first adult furniture purchase I made, my dresser is so cute & vintage, and it's gonna be sad to part with them.  Ugh.

"How do I cram it all in!!??"  Ugh.  (from weheartit.com)

AND Teeter, Chick and I have lived together for 5 years - we've made some purchases together, our kitchen stuff is all entwined - I'm breaking up the awesomeness trifecta.  We call it the "divorce."  Luckily they don't have to divorce just yet; they're getting two friends to move in & cut down the rent.  That's right, two; I'm too awesome of a roommate to be replaced by just one person!

 I have around two months to make this all happen.  I need to get my ass in gear.  UGH.

 Anyway... looking on the sunny side of things...

Last night I bartended an event for Tree People up on Mulholland.  If you're in the LA area, care in the least bit about the environment & don't know about this organization, go check it out.  Awesome group.  They plant trees and educate people on the importance of a green city; you can volunteer with them every weekend to help plant or maintain trees around LA.  Even more fun, they sustain a beautiful public park with great hiking trails - check it out!

from weheartit.com

Anyway, the building I worked in was built out of recycled materials, including jeans - what!! - and showcased interesting artwork made from natural and recycled materials.  They had a live band, it was a beautiful night, and everyone was so friendly.  They even invited me to have dinner & drinks with them when I was off the clock, and I totally would've but I thought it would've been a little uncomfortable & maybe against the rules.  :)  And on top of all that, I tripled my actual paycheck in tips!  You just can't beat a night of work like that.

 They also take people on Full Moon Hikes; the next one is April 28 at 7pm, and I'm gonna do it.  Who wants to come with?

On a different note, I want to send out a hugenormous thank you to all the friends that have been so supportive of my decision to move.  I've gotten so many facebook comments, comments here, emails, and even a few phone calls, all of them sad but excited.  It means a lot to know y'all are rooting for me.  Thanks, loves.

Today I am so happy & grateful for:
~ lovely, amazing and supportive friends
~ green organizations
~ tips!

xo! n.

Giving Up vs. Moving On

I have a new Escape Hatcher post up!  This one is more personal than the others... check it out here.

from weheartit.com

Are any of you going through something similar?  Learning to let go & move on?  I'd love to hear from you...  

xo! n.