In with the popular kids

Last night I took a chance and went to a Hollywood philosophy club meeting.  I didn't know anyone there; I was invited by a guy I met for about 5 minutes on set.  I've been terrible the past few years about going out to things alone - if no one will come with me, I usually make up some excuse for not going.  I know, it's terrible.  But since I've recently decided I have nothing to lose in LA and am trying to live fully and say YES to opportunities, I went with an open mind.

At first, I felt like I was 16 again, tagging along to a "cool kids" party.  Everyone was so stylish and Hollywood and skinny.  They all knew each other.  I was reminded of the high school kid I used to be, who shopped at thrift stores to have a style of her own so she wouldn't be compared to the popular girls and protected herself from rejection with dry humor.  I was sitting there, self-concious, in her figurative Doc Martens again.

And then I remembered that I'm NOT that girl.  I'm a woman who has lived and loved and made friends all over the world, and I'm good with who I am.  I may not be LA-perfect, but I have a lot to offer.  And so I smiled, and I introduced myself, and I made conversation, and I was comfortable and I made friends.  And, as usual, everyone was really nice and I had a great time.

Sometimes I just need to have a little more faith in myself.

Today I am so grateful and happy for:
~ new friends
~ owning who I am
~ saying yes with an open mind

xo! n.

 [photo source]