Yes! The actual act of going on dates almost always fades out of a long-term relationship, and even in those that deem "date nights" important, the need to impress each other fades. Which is a nice thing, comfort is great, but sometimes it's fun to take a chance, to feel nervous, and to have no clue what you're getting into.
Especially when the date hits it out of the park.
Cut to my Sunday. Now, y'all, I'm telling you this because I'm not embarrassed or ashamed, I'm just 29 and living in Los Angeles -- I'm on eHarmony. And I'd been emailing with this particular guy, we'll call him B, for about a week. I'm a big proponent of meeting relatively early on because there's only so much you can tell from emails and a few pictures; to feel someone's energy & real compatibility, you have to spend some time with them.
So I suggested meeting & he suggested LACMA (Los Angeles County Museum of Art). Perfect.
We met in the forest of streetlamps in front of the building; he looked like his pictures and bought my admission. The museum was pretty full, which aided our mutual non-reverence; we weren't being disrespectful, but were there to enjoy ourselves & immediately feel into an easy dialogue making up silly stories about the Indian art we were looking at.
We discovered a Jerry Springer plot in a painting of a nobleman with his handmaidens, and identified India's Siskel & Ebert of the 1700s. We were cracking ourselves up. We tried to be quiet, but noticed a few people giggling around us, and one couple even joined in & added to our story.
We stood for a while in front of this painting, imagining the dinners this very dysfunctional family might've had.
As we wandered around, we got to know each other better and the art helped us avoid awkward silences by inspiring questions like, what's your background, and where've you traveled? It may sound like a stuffy location but because of its somewhat interactive nature, it was actually the perfect place for a first date - boys, take note!
When we got hungry, we headed to a shabu-shabu place down the street (if you don't know, it's a Japanese cook-your-own-food style restaurant), where we talked over the steam of seaweed water boiling our beef & veggies. Dinner led to a discussion of karaoke (naturally), so we headed to a bar and picked each other's songs over the riot of a very large birthday party.
very dark small pictures from my phone...
That's right, I said we picked each other's songs. As in, neither of us knew what we were singing until we were standing up there with a mic in our hands. So not only did I do karaoke on a first date, I did blind karaoke on a first date. What am I, crazy??? Eh. It's all part of the fun.
I had to sing Gwen Stefani, Hollaback Girl, and he had to sing Boys II Men, I'll Make Love to You (just because it's funny, don't go thinking dirty, it's a first date) - and we totally rocked it.
He was a total gentleman. Besides a few "that's what she said"s (which, let's face it, I probably initiated) and a running Indian-exhibit-inspired joke about the kama sutra, he held doors for me, was hands-off, and even picked up the tab (which the Very Independent Woman that I am fought against, but he refused to budge).
I'm pretty sure it was the best first date I've ever been on. That's what they all should be: fun, silly, spontaneous, full of conversation & laughter, not an awkward meal & silent movie, or some dude drooling all over you waiting for the end of the night to make a move.
So, I don't know, it may not go anywhere, but there will definitely be a second date and, hey, sometimes it's just nice to be reminded that dates like this DO exist. :)
Today I am so grateful & happy for:
~ a fun day with a good guy
~ time to write
~ my new phone is working (and puuuurty!)