I'm not scared of getting older; it's a pointless fear. You will always be older than you were yesterday, it's an inevitable part of being alive. I wouldn't go back to the insecurities and obsessions of sixteen or twenty-two (although I might go back to a blissfully ignorant four); I'm really happy with who I am now and looking forward to who I'll become.
I find that whenever I feel anxiety about my age (almost 30!!), it's because of expectations of what I think I should have by this time in my life. What a load of shit; "should" is a dirty word. Could I have had those things I think I should have? Yes. Did I choose other things? Yes. Am I happy with my choices? Yes. Can I still have those things in the future? Yes. So where's the problem...? So silly.
My roommate Chick was out of town, so we didn't have our normal super-exciting blowout birthday surprise yesterday (apparently it's been planned though, so that just makes the celebration last longer... I like it!); I had a good, easy breezy day with a small group of friends.
I woke up to many lovely facebook birthday comments & the accidental stress of realizing I had to be at my friend V's bridal shower an hour earlier than I'd thought. Whoops. Got there a half hour late, sweating & embarrassed, only to find no one was there on time, not even the bride herself. Whew! Caught up with some of my favorite people from my old job, ate delicious middle eastern food that just kept coming, drank wine, danced, and felt like I was in Lebanon, surrounded by these friendly and beautiful Armenian women, in a gilded hall with foreign music blasting. It was really fun & V looked gorgeous, as always.
at V's Bridal shower with the ladies from my old job
When I got home, Teeter surprised me with a beautiful, colorful bouquet and mimosas! In another, not-so-birthday, surprise, our refrigerator decided to quit on us & Teeter had taken everything out to clean, unplug and re-plug it (still not working - balls!), so we sat in the disaster of our kitchen, drinking champagne and laughing, with Chick's new kitten Gumshoe (did I tell you about him yet? Adorable!!!) attacking our feet and climbing our shoulders.
Later, we met "my Sean" at Le Petit Greek, where our friend Michelene works, for an AMAZING dinner. Oh my goodness, it was SO good. Go there. We sat outside & watched the hipster families pass (skinny jeans on a baby in a diaper?? Really??), stuffing ourselves with deliciousness and loving each others' company.
my sean & me
Then it was on to Hamburger Mary's, a West Hollywood institution, for Drag Queen Bingo - so fun. Our friends Cat, Matt, and RJ joined us, and we screeched in delight every time the queen called a number we had ("Everyone's favorite: I 69!!"), but despite getting very close, none of us got a bingo. Waaa Waaaah... After bingo was a confusing and funny burlesque show (Is that a woman? Man? Tranny? Doesn't really matter, he/she is fabulous!!) and we pretty much closed the bar, laughing and dancing & playing the is-he-gay-or-is-he-straight game with the waiters.
Did Teeter just tell Sean a dirty joke? :)
It was a great birthday.
Today I am so happy & grateful for:
~ amazing friends
~ so many birthday wishes!
~ no hangover today :)
~ being one year wiser & happier